Changes

People change. It's inevitable. One day you wake, and realize you are no longer the person you were a few years ago. Every being goes through this. Life moves on.

A few days after Halloween, I found myself over-indulging in wine out in the fields of the farmhouse. I'll admit, I was pouting, but that's neither here nor there at this point. I had several bottles of wine from all over -- Salem, Italy, Spain. It was my own private party. I can't say I remember much of the night, though. I had some bad wine. I threw the bottle on the ground. Aryia was there. I felt ill. Horribly ill. Things get fuzzy after that. Though I remember yelling at Aryia to get out, not much else comes to mind.

Nadia says she was there, and I was acting strange. Other than being horribly drunk, I don't know how strange much else could have been. Apparently I had Aryia bring me food. Normally, I wouldn't think much of that. But I requested a steak. Being the vegetarian I am, I found that story hard to believe. However, each day that passes, I'm less sure of myself on that belief.

Each day, I feel....different. Joel's been hovering, waiting for whatever it is he's waiting for. I find it irritating. He said that the wine I drank was some sort of vampire thing. I laughed. I laughed a lot. But in the back of my mind, I knew something was going on that I wasn't in control of, and I had to find out what. Not being able to eat, an alertness I had never known before, I was changing. But how? I did the only thing I could think of with all of this swimming around in my head -- I went to see a vampire.

Chara was her name. And she immediately walked over to me and said that she could smell vampire blood. I felt like throwing a fireball at her for the comment, but held back. I told her what was going on, what had happened, how I felt. It was like she was the only being I could talk to about this, and she sat listening to every word. When I was done, she said I was changing. That I could die if I didn't make a choice.

The choice, however, was not one I was willing to make. She warned me that things could get bad. Really bad. And she was right. I went to the Goddess to ask for guidance. She said nothing. A warm smile was returned for my worry. And so, I don't know what to make of it all.

It's been a couple of weeks now, and I can feel myself changing. Chara said that I seem different than even a week ago, when she worried for my life. She called me a dhampir. Whatever the hell that is. Orchid says it's "dumpy", and while it's mostly because of what is happening to me, it irritates me a bit.

I don't know what's happening to me. Just that it is, and I'm not yet dead(which is a good thing to me!). But the constant nagging over me has got me annoyed and just wanting people to quit with the whispering, and the meeting behind my back, planning and plotting how to help me.

I don't need it.