Fire and Gems

Zillah crossed the line. I knew he would. I waited for it. Nadia told me it was fine with her should I decide to show him the bad end of my flamethrower. The other day, I did just that. I warned him I would. Repeatedly. But, Zillah being Zillah, he doesn't catch on very quickly. So I made the threat more personal. I probably shouldn't have. But I wanted him to know I was serious when I told him to stop.

I've carried out half of what I said I'd do. He felt my wrath. And he knows I full well plan to continue the rest of my promise. I have always been one to carry out a threat. Lately, I'm all the more focused. Quite possibly because of this vampire thing. I don't know. I reminded Zillah again as he lay there with his flesh steaming, that I would finish what I told him I'd do. I felt a little bad bringing Lime into it, but hey, strike where it hurts the most, right?

The following day, a bunch of us sat at the villa discussing this and that. Chara brought Poetry by. I hadn't seen Poetry in some time, really. I was a bit surprised when Chara told me about her. But, if it works for them both, so be it. Vampires have this knack for ignoring the conscious. Or simply don't have one. That's where I know I'm not quite a vampire.

Joel left for a time, only to return a bit jittery. Irritatingly so, in fact. He kept fidgeting until I practically sent daggers at him with my eyes. And so he said he wanted to talk to me privately. Into my room we went, I was almost annoyed. Happens easily these days, but still all that fidgeting...

I sat in my favorite chair as he hovered. He could see I was annoyed. He lowered his eyes to the floor. Now I was curious and annoyed. He walked over to me, dropped to a knee and told me that he loved me. In the same breath, he asked me to be his wife.

Honestly, with all that's been going on with me lately, I was feeling a little like I was neglecting Joel. And I most likely was. He kept telling me that he would stay by my side. He told me this again as he asked me to marry him. I couldn't tell him yes. I didn't tell him no. I explained that I had to think about it. With all that has happened, I needed a few days. He seemed content with the temporary answer, and we returned to the crowd.

Then I told Nadia. She stormed back into the villa, and I could hear the frustration in her voice as she screamed at him. I just shook my head and waited for her to vent and return to the atrium.

I have a lot of thinking to do in the next couple of days.

Changes

People change. It's inevitable. One day you wake, and realize you are no longer the person you were a few years ago. Every being goes through this. Life moves on.

A few days after Halloween, I found myself over-indulging in wine out in the fields of the farmhouse. I'll admit, I was pouting, but that's neither here nor there at this point. I had several bottles of wine from all over -- Salem, Italy, Spain. It was my own private party. I can't say I remember much of the night, though. I had some bad wine. I threw the bottle on the ground. Aryia was there. I felt ill. Horribly ill. Things get fuzzy after that. Though I remember yelling at Aryia to get out, not much else comes to mind.

Nadia says she was there, and I was acting strange. Other than being horribly drunk, I don't know how strange much else could have been. Apparently I had Aryia bring me food. Normally, I wouldn't think much of that. But I requested a steak. Being the vegetarian I am, I found that story hard to believe. However, each day that passes, I'm less sure of myself on that belief.

Each day, I feel....different. Joel's been hovering, waiting for whatever it is he's waiting for. I find it irritating. He said that the wine I drank was some sort of vampire thing. I laughed. I laughed a lot. But in the back of my mind, I knew something was going on that I wasn't in control of, and I had to find out what. Not being able to eat, an alertness I had never known before, I was changing. But how? I did the only thing I could think of with all of this swimming around in my head -- I went to see a vampire.

Chara was her name. And she immediately walked over to me and said that she could smell vampire blood. I felt like throwing a fireball at her for the comment, but held back. I told her what was going on, what had happened, how I felt. It was like she was the only being I could talk to about this, and she sat listening to every word. When I was done, she said I was changing. That I could die if I didn't make a choice.

The choice, however, was not one I was willing to make. She warned me that things could get bad. Really bad. And she was right. I went to the Goddess to ask for guidance. She said nothing. A warm smile was returned for my worry. And so, I don't know what to make of it all.

It's been a couple of weeks now, and I can feel myself changing. Chara said that I seem different than even a week ago, when she worried for my life. She called me a dhampir. Whatever the hell that is. Orchid says it's "dumpy", and while it's mostly because of what is happening to me, it irritates me a bit.

I don't know what's happening to me. Just that it is, and I'm not yet dead(which is a good thing to me!). But the constant nagging over me has got me annoyed and just wanting people to quit with the whispering, and the meeting behind my back, planning and plotting how to help me.

I don't need it.

The Surprise

I told him last night. I've wanted to for days. For weeks. But I kept it to myself for... you know, that whole high priestess thing.

First, I had to tell Nadia. I guess I wanted some sort of approval, or just to know that she was okay with it. Maybe I just wanted to rid myself of the guilt.

I went to Orchid earlier in the day. We asked the cards what they thought. I drew the Hanged Man. Orchid said that the cards weren't able to give an answer because they couldn't see that far into the future. I had to let go of my old fears, old beliefs, or lose the opportunity for something.

I sent him on a treasure hunt, of sorts. Clues carefully placed in some of my favorite places kept him busy while I got things ready. I had borrowed queen Dido's robes for the evening. I just love the way they look. I'll have to sneak back into her room and put them back, I suppose.

He ran into the clearing, huffing a little from all of the running around I'd made him do. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face when he stopped suddenly, seeing that I was there, and not another clue.

The evening turned out better than I had expected. Poor Joel was speechless half the time. Which means I must have done one or two things right, right?

I had commissioned an old jeweler friend in Egypt for an udjat. I wanted it made of solid silver, nothing else. It would be different than the others I'd seen. Unique. No other made of a single metal. I can remember, during my time in egypt when I was younger, hearing the story of the udjat. I wanted something that was out of my past, and living in Egypt is a good part of that. The last of the surprises of the evening was ready.

Joel kept this permanent, yet slightly funny, smile on his face for the entire night. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I planned the evening, or that I wore little more than those transparent robes.

Or perhaps that I was able to admit, finally, that I had fallen for him - somebody that I had bickered with, taunted, and threatened for years.

The Goddess does work in strange ways.

Though I reserve the right to bicker and taunt him still. For amusement purposes, of course.